Baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we're walkin' a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
We swore we'd travel darlin' side by side
We'd help each other stay in stride
But each lover's steps fall so differently
But I'll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me
Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So lets make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me
Now there's a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There neath the oaks bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me
- Bruce Springsteen -
I was riding into Toronto on my regular morning commute when out of the corner of my eye I noticed two birds flying together in the sky. Two birds flying just inches apart. The distance between the two never wavered as they soared ahead seemingly immune to gusts of wind or even the slightest muscle twitch. Equally remarkable was that they flapped their wings in perfect unison never the least bit out of alignment. And remarkable it was. Neither looked back or lost their cadence or rhythm for the other. It seemed effortless and completely natural as if they were both unaware of each other's presence. Yet that kind of unity could not be by coincidence or blind luck. They were tuned to each other and it was natural for them to make small unnoticeable adjustments in the air to stay in unison. And it occurred to me, isn't that love?
True love I mean. Beyond the passion and the fire and flame, 'love is patient' right? Love is not two people going full bore to the end hoping both make it. It's not pulling or pushing the other along. It's certainly not leaving the other behind 'cos the other can't keep up nor abandoning the other for another. Love is moving forward together 'side by side' and 'in stride' 'baby come what may'. Love is a faithful waiting on the other so that both move forward together.
'Each lover's steps fall so differently'. Of course Love knows that we'll fall out of step along the way. We may even 'lose' each other in the shadows. Perfection may be the picture of those two birds, but most often we fall well short of that. But Love asks us to wait for the other. And Love trusts that the other will. It says "I will wait for you"! And with that confidence, we can continue to move forward knowing that the other will be there around the next bend.
'Let's make our steps clear so that the other may see'. As we get better at it, the trips and falls aren't as noticeable. At least that's my hope. As we increasingly 'know' each other, we get better at adjusting on the fly. She will know my steps more, I will know hers. So Love is a constant dance of finding each other, feeling Love's movements and aligning my steps with hers. And its perfection is found in losing track of who is leading. It ceases to matter as we will find that we are leading and being led at the same time.
For myself, I most often find my out of alignment and constantly tripping. I try to lead, but most often feel completely useless at making the necessary in-air adjustments that Love calls for. And I don't do well with that feeling of distance and misalignment with her. It's a lonely and desolate place. It steals Love's hope. But trust in Love. I find this so hard, but I need to find that place where I trust that she will wait for me as I stumble along trying to find the rhythm and cadence. And I have recently discovered that my true failure is trying to control Love's rhythm. If either bird tried to control that, the perfect unison would inevitably fail. Seems obvious, but unity requires at least two. I need to hand over control of Love's rhythm. It's only in the handing over control of Love's rhythm where perfect unity is possible. The two become one. Two separate rhythms become one. That's how to fly.
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