Press Your Luck

The futures market, the savings account.  Laying up or going for the green in two on a par 5,  the prevent defence, the kitchen sink blitz, the sacrifice fly or stealing home. All in on the river with a gut-shot straight draw or folding the hand on the top pair showing.  Going into a burning building. Crab fishing on the Bering Sea. Bob, I bet one dollar. Monte, let's make a deal. Press your luck, no whammies.  

High risk, high reward. When it works, great, we're heroes. But odds are we will lose more than we win and we may be left with nothing.  Risk little, little return. We may come out a little ahead, but we never win big. And for all our efforts to avoid risk, nothing is certain. C.S. Lewis once wrote "There is no safe investment".  There is always some element of risk.  And much of life is minimizing our exposure. RRSPs, pensions, insurance...'stable jobs' we like (or don't), maybe loathe, but we do to pay the bills. Think of the opportunities missed in stability's name when what was the real risk anyway?

C.S. Lewis also wrote "Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief". So much of what guides us through life are not the 'real risks' that Lewis is referring to. We may perceive them as real, but are they really?  We catastrophize out of a peverse and misguided fear. Catastrophizing is to hyper-imagine negative outcomes that have no real basis in reality. Not to say, you shouldn't invest in RRSPs or insurance...themselves nothing wrong. We should work. And yes, I have a job, pension and insurance. I'm not talking about being flaky or irresponsible. God does want us to be good stewards and work hard. But if fear of the thing is driving a stake into the heart of what we do (or don't do), that's not healthy. If fear is keeping us from who we are (our true identity) or what we should be doing (our sacred calling), that's not good either. It's not what God wants. God revering yes. But fearful, no.  

What then do the risks I take (or avoid) say about what I believe? Well, if I'm only seeking to minimize exposure and avoid the catastrophic, I have to question the reality of my belief and in whose hands I'm placing my trust. Behaviours should align with beliefs. I could be a little more courageous for my convictions, but I also understand that it will come with sacrifice. Sacrifice is hard because we are hard-wired to fight against it. It doesn't always feel safe or comfortable or secure.  I'm a little selfish. I don't want to give of myself, at least not all or too often. And yet, that is exactly what I'm called to do. I know in my heart that it will indeed be far safer and more secure than it ever was because of whose Hands I'm putting it into. Seems there is in fact one safe investment.

But it takes faith. Hebrews 11 talks about faith as "the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen." Faith demands risk because its of things hoped for and not seen. Our culture generally sees that as worse odds than winning the lottery. It's not always accepted, it's often dismissed, it's sometimes resented. But faith is by definition the 'substance' and the 'evidence'. Though many may perceive the nature of our belief as uncertain because its not easily 'seen', faith is the very proof, the very certainty, we always sought. So maybe it's the world that's catastrophizing, hyper-imagining outcomes that have no basis in reality...just sayin'.

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desire not too strong, but too weak." Lewis reminds us to remember the rewards. Not dismiss the risk or costs, but weigh them against the reward or return. Which is really just a good investment decision. Investors, here's the Kingdom Return-on-Investment (K-ROI).  High risk, high reward with no risk at all. We have everything to lose, even more to gain. Infinite dividends. The investment is everything we have, but insignificant against the 'staggering nature of the 'promised' rewards. That's real risk worth making. I'm gonna press my luck!

Daddy Made Me a TARDIS

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."  Everything is beautiful.  That means us too.  But if everything (and everyone) is beautiful, why do so many feel anything but.  I suspect in some way, each of us feels ugly, incomplete, abandoned, rejected or damaged somehow or in some way.  I'm not talking about the tragedy of things done to us by others.  That's someone violently ripping away the heart of beauty.  I know that Jesus is somewhere at work in all that, but I would not want to anyway marginalize the hurt or seriousness of it.  Nor can I claim to know how that feels.  I've been fortunate to escape that kind of tragedy.  But I am talking about that ever present, below-grade feeling of insecurity, incompleteness and inadequacy that eats at everyone one of us...well me anyway.  We feel small, sometimes.  Sometimes I feel really small.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says "He has made everything beautiful..." but beautiful "in it's time".  God has bound us to time.  We feel it passing.  We are the living picture of its passage.  Our skin whithers and wrinkles.  Our sight and hearing deteriorates.  Our bones and joints ache and slow.  You can see time played out on my face over the years.  And through that, maybe, we discover the point of time.  Maybe time exists so that we can 'feel' it passing away.  If there wasn't a shot-clock, the passing of days wouldn't matter.  

Yet they do matter because God "also set eternity in the human heart".   To us, eternity means forever; time never-ending.   But to the Ancient Hebrew, words used to describe time, were also used to describe distance and direction.  The meaning of 'eternity' here is far in the distance, beyond the horizon.  Because its beyond the horizon, we cannot fathom the fullness of eternity; what God has done/is doing from beginning to end.  But God has implanted direction, a divine purpose, on our hearts.  And it gets played out over time.

And though we have this divinely planted sense of purpose, we know from Ecclesiastes that nothing on this earth can ever satisfy.  I wonder then if that's where some of that 'smallness' comes from.  We're hard-wired with an 'eternal' purpose; a reason to be, a place to go.  Yet we exist in a world that can't get us there.  We ourselves are totally incapable of fulfilling that purpose.  And time and time again, we are left deflated and defeated 'chasing after the wind'.  We're left small feeling the tragedy of a purpose stalled or stilted. 

In Tolkein's 'Lord of the Rings', Gandalf says to Frodo "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."  Time's passing matters because we have a distance to be covered, a direction to be fixed on, and a time for it all.  Yes, God has bound us to time, BUT He has given us the capacity to live above it.  He has made us 'bigger on the inside'.  We're anything but small!  Beauty is constantly on work in us and the fullness of it gets realized over time, in His time.  Fantastic!  What then should we do with the time that is given to us?  Well, shouldn't the answer to that be to fulfill the divine purpose that has been implanted on our hearts by our creator, by our Father?  The horizon may be well beyond this sun, but Daddy made me a TARDIS and I have a new world to see.  Allons-y!

A Fighting Man

Well, you took me in, you stole my heart,
I cannot roam no more.
Because love, it stays within you,
It does not wash up on a shore.
But a fighting man forgets each cut
Each knock, each bruise, each fall,
But a fighting man cannot forget
Why his love don't roam no more.

(Love Don't Roam, Murray Gold)


My wife stole my heart the moment I met her.  We met in an elevator (I'm serious).  We were going to the same floor, the same place actually.  She struck up a conversation and then I just followed her around for the day.  We had coffee, she played me a song she wrote on her guitar.  I was hooked from there and just kept following her around. 

We've been married for almost twelve years now.  We live in a very nice house in a great community with three truly awesome children. From there to here, we've spent a lot of time together.  But along the way, we've experienced many of the ups and downs that good couples do.  We've learned a lot, we've grown up a little (I hope), we've lifted each other up, we've let each other down, we've fought and we've made-up.  We try.  We're together.  Because at the heart of it, we very much love each other and both feel quite fortunate to have found one another. We're better together.  I'm better because of her.

As it should be I suppose...the grand design of marriage for two to become a better, more complete, one.  Yet I've been surprised over the years by how truly difficult marriage is.  Two people aren't just added together.  Marriage is not a sandwich or a cake mix.  Two become one flesh.  That changes your DNA.  And so maybe it shouldn't come as such a surprise that it can be hard and painful at times.  You remember the man you used to be...sometimes you may even long to be that person..and yet you're no longer that person.  Two people are being spiritually fused and recreated into a new thing.  And you find that Love has changed you and its constantly recreating you into a better man.  

You forget the cost if you remember what you have gained.  It's not that it doesn't hurt.  We know it does.  But if I focus on the prize itself, Love, any hurt along the way doesn't seem that bad.  Remembering Love has a way of rounding out the edges.  I suspect (though obviously could never really know) that childbirth is much that way.  If my wife had truly remembered the pain of our first, we might never have had our second or third.  Because truly wonderful things are worth the cost.  She looks at the magic of her children and each knock and bruise (contraction) slips away.  The pain was worth the price.  So too Love.  

And yet I do forget.  I love my wife.  But too often I forget (or at least its not front-of-mind).  I spend too much time fighting with her when I should be fighting for her. And maybe fighting for Love is just that simple.  It's a constant, active and unrelenting remembering of the wonder of her.     

Love doesn't roam.  We do.  At the very least, we forget its there and alive and wonderful.   We stray from it, sometimes running in its opposite direction, instead of being in its Presence.  But it's the process of remembering it that brings us back to it.  And when we're in that place, we're compelled to act for Love out of Love.  A fighting man digs and claws and spits blood for Love in times of war AND peace.  Being in the moment, every moment, battling for Love.  Ever-present with Love.  That's the place I most want to be and stay.  So this man is going to pick some more 'fights'.  


 

#WOWGOD - Starry, Starry Night

What do you think about when you look up at the stars?

Maybe you’re a stargazer, an astronomer or a scientist, counting, cataloguing, tracking and arranging the stars? Stars are a scientific definition, a mathematical equation, an intellectual problem begging to be solved. How many stars are there in the universe? How old are they? What are they made of? How far are they away? You find your wonder in the answers to these questions.

Or perhaps you’re an adventurer, an explorer, a traveler. The stars then are signposts for your own adventures here. In the darkness they light your way and signal the right direction to follow. But even more, they’re a mysterious undiscovered country, something to ‘be’ explored, a new territory to claim and tame. But the only way you can fully understand them is to experience them. As you look up at the stars, you desire to hang in the sky with them.

Or perhaps you’re an artist, a poet, a singer, or a writer. Starry, starry night. A Don McLean or a Vincent VanGogh that found their muse in the clear night sky. Stars are a pretty picture, a love song’s chorus, the perfect backdrop for the story’s climatic first kiss. Stars don’t need to be understood, just appreciated for their mystery and beauty. Or maybe, maybe you’re still just a child at heart, a dreamer. Stars are small lights in the big dark. A larger than life LiteBright set. Twinkling, blinking and shooting. Something to wish on, hoping against hope that one day your wish comes true.

On any given night when you look up at the sky, out of the glare of streetlights and the polluting haze of the city, you will see a few thousand individual stars with your naked eye. Enough that you or I couldn’t count them all. Our astronomers, with their telescopes, see millions more. Our scientists build mathematical models to prove the existence of billions upon billions more still. NASA builds shuttles, and satellites and probes just to get a closer look. And despite all that we can see, even all we can perceive of, there are infinitely more we do not. And it’s easy to feel small and insignificant in something so big and wonderful. A seemingly infinite number of stars in the seemingly infinite vastness of space.

Maybe that’s their true design. Designed by the Creator, to awe us, to inspire us, to humble us. But not only through their beauty (though they are beautiful)…Not even by their sheer number (surely they cannot be counted)…No, not by only what we ‘can’ see, but also by that which we ‘do not’ see and cannot perceive.

Consider Genesis 15. This is God speaking to Abram (not yet Abraham) in a vision.

5 He took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

This is of course not the first time God has come to Abram, first calling him in Genesis 12 to receive his commission to leave his homeland and strike out into that future that God would reveal to him. It’s here that God lays out His promises to Abram:

"I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

Each promise almost begs the question “How?” How will you make me into a great nation? How will you bless me? How will you make my name great? How will I be a blessing?  And how on earth, will I bless all peoples on earth? How, How, How, How, How, How??? But he went anyway, leaving his country, his people, and his father’s household, willing to risk it all on God’s wonderful, yet almost unbelievable, promises. So he went. But the inherent problem Abram had throughout the next few decades was this: “How was he to live in the real here and now world, in light of such seemingly open-ended and future-forward promises?”

No different for us right. I’ve been following Jesus for over a decade now, but I still can remember what it was like to first ‘go’ and enter the promise.  At the time, I had no idea what it all meant. I couldn’t communicate it, much less align my life to it. I just went. Clarity seems to happen gradually as we mature into our faith. We grow farther up and further in as God reveals Himself to us in increasingly specific ways.  And it's a lifelong process.

And similarly, here in Genesis, God continues to reveal in increasingly specific ways those promises made to Abram. In Chapter 15 we catch up with an impatient and frustrated Abram. God first said to him back in Genesis 12 that He would make him into a great nation. Yet here he is, pushing the century mark, no child, no natural heir, and a barren wife. The great nation has not started off well. Abram not so subtly points this out to God of course:

"O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus? "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir."

What’s at play here is that if God didn’t provide a natural heir for Abram, his only heir would be through legal custom; through a servant of Abram’s household. Not ideal in his mind. Abram had in mind a son of his own. God knew that, reassures him, and says "This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." And maybe sensing that this may not be enough for Abram, the Creator allows creation to speak to creation. The Lord then leads him outside, I don’t know maybe they kicked off their sandals, threw a blanket down, laid their heads on a couple of smooth rocks, and just looked up at the stars. And the Lord said this: "Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them." "So shall your offspring be."  Abram's #WOWGOD, that moment that he would keep going back to time and time again when he needed encouragement or explanation or direction or inspiration or hope to press through.

And as Abram looked at those thousand points of light, I wonder if he put name to star. Oh, that one is going to be my great grandson Benjamin, oh that one for sure is my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson’s mother Ruth. Oh…that big and bright one, to the North, yeah that one, well that one is going to be my first-born son. Yeah that’s my son alright… And at that point the magnitude of the promise probably hit him hard. I can just see it too. Half weeping, half giggling like a child, he says to himself “More stars than I can even count.  Just one would do.” I’m a wrinkly, tired old man, my wife is old, still sexy as hell, but come on… “More stars than I can even count!” Thank you Lord.

And the thing is, as Abram stared up at those stars he had no idea. Not really. He only saw the thousands of stars in the sky. He was most interested in that one star; his first-born. What he didn’t know about was the millions of billions of stars beyond them. Abram didn’t have the complete revelation of the Bible to get a fuller appreciation of the new promise made through Jesus. He was grounded in his world, the “real here and now world.”; the old covenant. He looked up at the sky and saw his heirs, he saw his future family; a full sky full of them. He saw blessings, he saw land, he saw a great nation. He saw them, he just didn’t receive them. Hebrews 11 says that Abraham died not receiving the things promised. That he only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. He saw the beginnings of God’s salvation plan for his people through his heir Isaac. But, as with much of the Kingdom, the promise was much bigger than what he could possibly see or could even perceive. That, my friends, is the new promise, the new covenant, that has been given to you through Jesus. And unlike Abram, you will not welcome it from a distance, you will receive the promise in all its fulness.

What of today then in this woundup and winding down world? The same problem that Abram was faced with is the same one that continues to burden us now. Even more so perhaps. “How are we to live in the ‘real here and now world’, in light of seemingly open-ended and future-forward promises?"  By faith.  But what does that mean? Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see and then aligning our present thoughts and actions based on that belief. That’s what Abram and then Abraham did. Hebrews 11:17 says that “By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned."

Gutted. Just when Abraham began to see the Lord’s promise being fulfilled, he’s asked to give it all back. In Genesis 22, God said to Abraham "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Isaac, his natural heir, his first-born son, the promised one that he had been waiting decades for. And the Lord asks an almost impossible task of a father. Now Abraham is getting it. Things are a little clearer. He sees it for more than what it is, more than the taking of his son’s life, more than the end of his family’s line. He doesn’t completely understand, he doesn’t agree, but he trusts that God is faithful and that He is faithful to His promise.  Maybe drawing from his stargazing moment with God, Abram grew the courage to be faithful.

See that’s the kind of man I want to be. That’s the kind of family I want to raise. That’s the kind of church community I want to be in relationship with. Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. And that taking irrevocable action based on that surety.  One that is prepared to lay all we have today on the altar, “Your Kingdom come Lord. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”, because we ‘believe’ in the promise. Not because of the wonderful beauty of the night sky, but because its a reminder of God's promise fulfilled and being fulfilled.  I remember that they same sky that Abram sat under first counting his descendents...my star was there.  Yours too.  It was then, it is now.  Crazy!  #WOWGOD.

But as beautiful as the night sky can be, the true wonder of it for me is that when I look up I see the cracks and bullet holes in a beat-up and defeated darkness. It's a powerful reminder that darkness doesn’t even own the night. Light is breaking through and it’s always been that way. Just as He promised.  And just beyond the stars, I think I can just make out a cloud rolling in. And I wait for the sound of trumpets. And I wait. And as I look up at the stars, I’m reminded that dawn is just a night away. Every night, just a night away. 

In Memoriam of (Virginia) Jean See

My Grandma, (Virginia) Jean See passed on Friday, June 29, 2012.  I was honoured to deliver the eulogy at her funeral shortly after on Thursday, July 12, 2012. Something of the moment is inevitably lost in the text, but keeping the words said helps keep the 'memory' of it close for those of us who were there.

It is truly an honour and a privilege to be able to share memories of grandma with her family and dearest of friends.  Of course, each of us gathered here today has many wonderful memories of Grandma that are worthy to be shared.  Many knew her more, or longer or differently.  Our stories will be different of course, but all equally important to keeping her memory alive and honouring the women, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, daughter, sister and friend.  I'd encourage us all to share those wonderful memories and stories so that together we can work through the sadness of this time. 

But even more to celebrate. 

Yes celebrate!  Celebrate her life, celebrate the days we shared together, celebrate the impact she has had on each one of us.  And most importantly, celebrate her warm reception into the loving hands of the King, the Father, the Great Comforter.  Grandma is with Jesus.  She is at peace with the Prince of Peace.  She feels no pain or sadness anymore...only happiness and joy.  She is home...forevermore.  

On the day she passed, I can tell you the heavens had a great feast to welcome His prodigal daughter home. Turkey (vacuumed clean of course), chicken and biscuits and slow cooker meat balls with a side of salted peanuts for dinner.  Lemon meringue pie and shortbread cookies for dessert.  I bet Grandma even tried to get back into the kitchen to help!  Even in heaven she cannot help herself.  And her laugh...her laugh filled the halls the entire night.  I heard rumours she danced the night away with a certain dark haired gentleman named Ronald while Guy Lombardo led His band of angels.

Friends, she is in a better place.  In this I am sure... and in this, we ourselves can find comfort.  And yet, we are still left a little lost.  We lost a little of ourselves from her passing.  And we'll miss her.  That is the bitter sweetness of this time losing someone we loved so much but knowing how much we gained being loved by her.  And sometimes it's this feeling that causes us to be better ourselves.  Spurred by good, we want to do better ourselves. 

I'm second of nine grandkids to (Virginia) Jean and Ronald See, second son to Larry and Cheryl (Grandma's first born), father to three of her 10 great grandchildren (Matthew...her first, Sophie, and William).  But no matter the number...to Grandma, always first...all 9 of us grandchildren and all 10 of her great grandchildren, all ways and always...first.  She had a way of making us feel that way.  I remember playing as a child with grandma's tiny china figurines from her curio cabinet.  She showed tremendous trust to a 6-year playing with such delicate treasures.   

For my children, Matthew, Sophie and William, no different.  She seemed just to know their shirt sizes, what colour they liked, what they were into.  Even though she was separated by time and space, she took the time to know these things.  And despite the fact that she herself had such modest means, always a Christmas or birthday present that was generous and just cool.  She was a fun and cool 85 year-old grandma!  May sound like such simple things, but I always saw them as a relentless genuine caring for her family.  And even though she got older and the family grew and moved farther away, it was always her first priority...her centre...her reason for being. That has and continues to inspire me to be a better husband and father and son.

I've been up at a cottage with my family for the past few days thinking about what I wanted to share with you today.  She was someone that you just wanted to be with whether you were 6 or 36.  So many stories of time well spent.  And as I thought through my childhood experiences, what I discovered was that any one of my memories of grandma are completely inseparable from my memories of my Papa (Ronald See - who we lost nearly 15 years ago).  From day picnics at Dupont beach, to sleepovers or Christmas Eve at Grandma and Papa's, Grandma and Papa always seemed to be together, they seemed to perfectly complement each other. They were one.

They were great, they really were.  To everyone that Papa met, he was beloved.  He was a great man.  And as I grew up, married and had children of my own...getting an appreciation for how truly difficult it is...I began to more fully understand Grandma's greatness.  She was humble, decreasing so that those she loved increased...allowing them to reach for their own greatness.  

She worked hard...you could see that.  She was strong.  She was 5 feet but such a strong and courageous lady.  Few of us know the kind of loss Grandma knew, losing Papa so suddenly.  I cannot fathom that kind of loss...it must have felt like losing herself because part of her was him and him her.  One flesh.  And yet she carried on, never fully complete I'm sure, honouring him in the act.  It is the kind of marriage that I always aspired to.  It has driven me to never compromise in the integrity of the institution.  She taught me that marriage gives you the opportunity to be better than you ever could have been alone.

And then she got sick and faced her own death.  And yet she courageously carried on, sometimes very sad, sometimes very defeated...but she carried on until the end.  That my friends is courage.  I pray that my loved ones never have to face the pain and sadness that she did in her last days.  My last memory of Grandma was in her living room in Cobourg.  Clearly struggling, tired, white skin, grey hair and frail, so frail...and yet she made sure to get up and search her cupboards to find some candies for my kids.  And it was a moment for me...they were the same kind of candies that she used to have ready in bowls when Geoff, Jeannette and I would visit...now offered to my own children some 30 years later.  Simple things I know, but I think true greatness is found in simple acts of love, done out of love, over and over again.

She was smart and crafty.  A card shark to be sure.  Many hours were spent between my sister and her playing gin rummy.  She owned the bridge tables at her Cobourg residency.  Her body failed her overtime, but never her mind.  She was wise.  After I got engaged to Lesley, she gave me some very powerful words.  At a passing glance, simple, just the kind of thing people say.  But I considered them wise in that moment. And they continue to be.  At hearing the news that Lesley and I were engaged, she said to me privately "This will be the best decision of your life."  Understand that this came only a few short years after Papa's passing and I felt that context very clearly then.  It could have been the kind of thing people say, but it was more than that.  It was the words unsaid, the words spoken through her eyes and tone of voice. 

This is what she said, "Mark, this is and always will be the best decision of your life.  Nothing is more important.  It is what we are meant for.  This is your opportunity to find meaning and realize your potential.  It is how you will impact the world.  You will be a great husband and a great father....you will love and serve your wife and your wife will make you a better man.  She will love you and care for you and your children.  Together under God, you will raise great children and then your children's children.  Like for Papa and I, it will be hard and you must work hard but you will reap the never-ending joy of marriage and family.  And when you're old and the days grow short, you will be able to look back and be truly satisfied.  Papa and I are proud."

It's natural in this time to reflect on the impact Grandma had.  It's a big part of what we're doing here today.  What did her life mean?  What did she leave behind?  What was it all for?  But how do you measure that?  When my mom and sister were helping go through Grandma's place they came across this quote which was obviously important to her and poignantly speaks to her own impact on the world as I see it.

"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."    

That's what Grandma thought important and that is the impact she truly had.  She lived in a one bedroom apartment, she didn't own a car, she had just enough to live month to month...but she can be considered rich.  She was important in the life of a child...this child...many children in fact.  From her seven siblings, to her four children, to her nine grandchildren to her ten (and growing) grandchildren...she was of great importance to each of us.  We will remember.  She will continue to impact us all and our children and then their children.  A life well lived I'd say.  And she wants the same for everyone one of us...to live well, to love well. 

Grandma was a fun lady, laughly loudly and often...and every now and then she'd just break into song.  I was flipping through my iPod as I was preparing for this and came across a song from Guy Lombardo.  I imagined Grandma singing it while carrying in dishes to the kitchen.  Don't really know how it got there, but I just thought it fit 'this' so well...something Grandma might have said or rather sang in such a moment and I'll let it be the final word:

"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.

Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.

The years go by, as quickly as a wink.

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think."

Exodus Signs: ‘Kobayashi Maru’

God does not believe in the ‘no-win’ scenario. 

I’ve been making my way through the Book of Exodus…and it’s been kinda fun.  Not only does Moses look like Charlton Heston in my mind, it’s one of those books where you keep picking up new things with each pass through. 

If you’ve watched Heston’s ‘Ten Commandments’, you likely know the back-story.  Moses is born in the darkest of days when Hebrews are enslaved by the Egyptians.  After a series of divinely-inspired events, Moses raised an Egyptian, flees Egypt for the wilderness.  There he comes across the burning bush where God directs Moses to return to Egypt to lead the Hebrews from Egypt’s bondage.  After some to-ing and fro-ing with God (you know WHO wins that right?), Moses returns to Egypt.  At his first audience, Moses asks Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go.  Pharaoh’s reply is found in Exodus 5:4-9“…why are you taking the people away from their labor? Get back to your work!” ⁵ Then Pharaoh said, “Look, the people of the land are now numerous, and you are stopping them from working.”  (Exodus 5:4).  That same day, Pharaoh gives this order to his slave masters “You are no longer to supply the people with straw for making bricks; let them go and gather their own straw. ⁸ But require them to make the same number of bricks as before; don’t reduce the quota. They are lazy; that is why they are crying out, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to our God.’ ⁹ Make the work harder for the people so that they keep working and pay no attention to lies.”

This thought immediately came to mind...Dude, that’s a ‘Kobayashi Maru’!  Now if you’ve watched Star Trek “Wrath of Khan” more than once, you are probably familiar with the ‘Kobayashi Maru’.  And knowing that does not make you a Trekkie!  The Kobayashi Maru is a simulation designed to test a Starfleet cadet’s character.  The cadet receives a distress signal from the starship ‘Kobayashi Maru’ which presents a difficult choice of rescuing the ship and being destroyed by the enemy or leaving it to be destroyed but saving yourself, your ship and your crew and potentially preventing the start of a war.  There is no ‘right’ choice.  Neither is a win, both are clear loses.  It’s designed to be unwinnable in order to test how you face fear in the face of uncertain death.

Here in Exodus 5, Pharaoh creates an unwinnable set of rules.  The Israelites either have to make bricks without straw (apparently a hard thing to do) or go collect straw so that they can then come back to make the bricks.  In either case, they have to meet the same quota.  If they try to make bricks without straw…they don’t meet quota because the bricks don’t form or they easily break.  If they go collect straw, they won’t have the time needed to make quota - consider, the Israelites were slaves and as we hear right them the start “the Egyptians worked them ruthlessly.” (Exodus 1:13 and Exodus 1:14 just for emphasis!).  I gather from that, that the quota was already exceedingly high…their days were pretty full, there were no slave unions, and no legislated ‘break times’.  A ‘no-win’ scenario. 

Now let’s just say this was a Kobayashi Maru scenario of sorts meant to test the character of the Hebrews.  This wasn’t about how the Hebrews were actually going to make bricks with or without straw.  God had brought His people to a breaking point.  While being slaves was almost too much to bear, it was still bearable.  What price then the possibility of hope?  Was that too much?  So what to do when faced with a seemingly impossible situation. In the face of uncertain death, do I react in fear turning away from God OR do I respond in faith trusting in the all-sufficiency of God.  

The Kobayashi Maru was meant to be unwinnable.  The world is really an unwinnable set of circumstances.  You can survive, you can even thrive (seemingly).  But in the end, “everything has its time and everything dies” (Doctor Who, 2005).  You can be happy to be sure, there are definitely moments of sheer joy.  But the world won’t win in the end, more often it feels more about losing less.  Yes, the world is under curse (Genesis)…BUT IT’S BEING REDEEMED!  Remember what I said earlier…God does not believe in the ‘no-win scenario’.  As my good friend and mentor often says ‘That’ll preach!!!’

Captain James T. Kirk is said to be the only person ever to have beat the no-win scenario. He changed the rules of the game by reprogramming the simulator.  He realized that situations governed by an unwinnable set of rules can only be won by changing the rules.

Jesus changed the rules (fair enough…His game, His rules) allowing us the chance to win.  Or rather the choice to win.  By dying on the Cross, Jesus defeated the penalty of sin (death) giving us the choice of eternal life.  We need not fear death because Jesus already faced that ‘Kobayashi Maru’ for us…and won…for today, tomorrow, forever…for you, for me, for everyone.  But Hope does demand a choice.

What if we really believed that we were fighting a battle where victory is already known and guaranteed?  How confidently would we fight then?  How much would we fear?  I feel good about my choice.  Yet despite the fact that I know the day has already been won, I let fear and insecurity leave me feeling defeated and distracted from my Hope (bondage) rather than causing me to respond in faith trusting in His provision and promise.  And like the Hebrews, I too often respond by groaning and complaining…’KAAAHHHN’.  Then I remember, while I may face a decision between two hard and difficult paths, one invariably leads to death, the other to LIFE.  That’s not to say that one is without pain (it is most assuredly not and in some ways more so).  But at the end of it, one is a no-win, the other a clear hands-down VICTORY.  Because...God does not believe in the ‘no-win’ scenario.  

Southern Accent

There’s a southern accent, 

where I come from

The young’uns call it country

The Yankees call it dumb

I got my own way of talkin’

But everything is done, 

with a southern accent

Where I come from.”

(Southern Accents, Tom Petty)

You don’t really ever appreciate that you have an ‘accent’ until you go to a place where you think they have one.  Thing is, check your citizenship.  You are in their land.  Majority rules friend.  You’re the one with the odd phrases and funny ‘way of talkin’.  You’re the one with the accent.  This first occurred to me when I went to Wales to study for a year.  The first person I spoke to getting off the bus asked me where I was from.  I proudly said Canada.  “Funny” she said.  “I thought you were Irish.”  I quickly realized that I was the ‘stranger in a strange land’.  And you stand out.

This past year, my wife and I went to see Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers play Toronto.  Good concert.  And I’ve been on a bit of a Tom Petty kick since.  His song ‘Southern Accents’ has really been speaking to me lately.  Not because I’m a southerner…I’m an [Irish] Canadian (at least according to one Welsh lady)!  It’s because I’m intrigued by the thought that everyone recognizes a southerner, whether you’re from the south or not.  No matter where they go, what they do or how they do it, southerners do it ‘southern style’.  “Everything is done with a southern accent, where [they] come from.”  A southern accent is not just how they talk.  Where they come from informs very much who they are.  It’s part of their DNA.  Their accent is an outward expression of their identity and a representation of how they live.  And it comes from where they come from.

And as a man of God this really challenges me.  Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”  We are created by the Creator in HIS image to reflect HIS image.  Who we are, is everything about who He is.  It’s our identity.  How great is that!  How scary is that?!  Who I am and how I live should represent Him.  Even more, who I am and how I live should actually reflect the glory of God.  Represent and Reflect.  The perfection of that is described in Hebrews 1:3 in speaking about Christ “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being…”.  But do people see that of me?  Does He see that of me??  My true ‘accent’ should rightfully be the radiance of His Glory…an outward expression of His identity to this generation, this strange land. 

Sometimes though, I think I spend too much time away from home.  It’s far too easy to forget where I come from.  I too often blend over standing out.  Thing about an accent is that you tend to lose it the longer you’re away from home.  It’s always still there of course, but it tends to get dulled and distorted by living away and living with.  It’s a powerful reminder to LIVE AS a “stranger in a strange land” always “longing for a better country—a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:16)…’where I come from’.  Thanks Tom for the reminder to LIVE FOR.  

Secret World

“Everybody has a secret world inside of them.  All of the people of the world, I mean everybody.  No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.  Not just one world.  Hundreds of them.  Thousands maybe.”  Neil Gaiman

Easy for talents such as Mr. Gaiman or those before him like Tolkein or C.S. Lewis you say.  But most of us (myself very much included) fall more towards the ‘dull and boring’.  We’re not authors or writers, at least in the traditional sense.  We lack the confidence or wherewithal or imagination or inclination even to write of our world(s), at least as a full time gig.  But if nothing else, the blogiverse has opened up this possibility for hacks, hobbyists and part-timers alike. 

‘Everybody has a secret world inside of them.’  Maybe that’s why many become ‘bloggers’.  They have these amazing secret worlds (fantasy) inside of them bursting to get out.  And in the midst of a seemingly ‘dull and boring’ world (reality), exploring the ‘unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds’ inside their heads seems much more attractive…and somehow this brightens their ‘real’ world. 

Many use their fantastical places to show others the truly fantastic.  Gaiman also said that “the best way to show people true things is from a direction that they had not imagined truth coming.”  Gaiman, Tolkein and Lewis were artists at using fantasy and science fiction genres to ‘show people’ true things in such a way that not only entertained but drew them in, compelling their audience to ‘seek’ truth and meaning and understanding…and very often taking them into the dark to show the light.  They expose their unimaginable, amazing world to tell us true things that aren’t easily seen in the fading light of our ho-hum daily existence.

Now I’ll leave the fantastical story-telling to the pros.  Me? The revelation of truth, no matter how big or how very tiny, IS amazing to me.  I’ll seek the true things wherever they may be found…but they are there to be found.  Not my truth, His truth.  The Truth.  And that’s what I want to write about.  I love and follow Jesus.  I love and serve my wife and three children.  I am a dedicated public servant and likely always will be.  I’m learning to love people more.   I live to serve the King, king and kingdom.  I’m gripped by pop-culture especially rock music, movies and fantasy/science fiction.  I enjoy cooking, I dislike cleaning.  I’m passionate, but have too little patience with those I love.  I ‘think’ all the time.  That’s me. 

For going on three years, I’ve been toying (battling with myself really) with the idea of starting a blog like this. That feeling of ideas and thoughts needing to burst out at constant war with the insecurity of ‘why would anyone else care to know’.  After some healthy needling and encouragement from my wife, here’s where I landed.  I need to do this because taking that ‘thought’ into written word helps me expose the truth of it.  If anyone is interested…wow, that’s kinda cool.  If anyone is misled…it was certainly not my intention.  Any opinions are mine alone and I can only ask for your forgiveness.  If anyone finds ‘truth’ in any of this...for His honour.  Truth is His and was never meant to be kept secret anyway.  So thank you for visiting my secret world…I hope you enjoy your stay!