Wednesday 15 August 2012

#WOWGOD - Starry, Starry Night

What do you think about when you look up at the stars?

Maybe you’re a stargazer, an astronomer or a scientist, counting, cataloguing, tracking and arranging the stars? Stars are a scientific definition, a mathematical equation, an intellectual problem begging to be solved. How many stars are there in the universe? How old are they? What are they made of? How far are they away? You find your wonder in the answers to these questions.

Or perhaps you’re an adventurer, an explorer, a traveler. The stars then are signposts for your own adventures here. In the darkness they light your way and signal the right direction to follow. But even more, they’re a mysterious undiscovered country, something to ‘be’ explored, a new territory to claim and tame. But the only way you can fully understand them is to experience them. As you look up at the stars, you desire to hang in the sky with them.

Or perhaps you’re an artist, a poet, a singer, or a writer. Starry, starry night. A Don McLean or a Vincent VanGogh that found their muse in the clear night sky. Stars are a pretty picture, a love song’s chorus, the perfect backdrop for the story’s climatic first kiss. Stars don’t need to be understood, just appreciated for their mystery and beauty. Or maybe, maybe you’re still just a child at heart, a dreamer. Stars are small lights in the big dark. A larger than life LiteBright set. Twinkling, blinking and shooting. Something to wish on, hoping against hope that one day your wish comes true.

On any given night when you look up at the sky, out of the glare of streetlights and the polluting haze of the city, you will see a few thousand individual stars with your naked eye. Enough that you or I couldn’t count them all. Our astronomers, with their telescopes, see millions more. Our scientists build mathematical models to prove the existence of billions upon billions more still. NASA builds shuttles, and satellites and probes just to get a closer look. And despite all that we can see, even all we can perceive of, there are infinitely more we do not. And it’s easy to feel small and insignificant in something so big and wonderful. A seemingly infinite number of stars in the seemingly infinite vastness of space.

Maybe that’s their true design. Designed by the Creator, to awe us, to inspire us, to humble us. But not only through their beauty (though they are beautiful)…Not even by their sheer number (surely they cannot be counted)…No, not by only what we ‘can’ see, but also by that which we ‘do not’ see and cannot perceive.

Consider Genesis 15. This is God speaking to Abram (not yet Abraham) in a vision.

5 He took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

This is of course not the first time God has come to Abram, first calling him in Genesis 12 to receive his commission to leave his homeland and strike out into that future that God would reveal to him. It’s here that God lays out His promises to Abram:

"I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."


Each promise almost begs the question “How?” How will you make me into a great nation? How will you bless me? How will you make my name great? How will I be a blessing?  And how on earth, will I bless all peoples on earth? How, How, How, How, How, How??? But he went anyway, leaving his country, his people, and his father’s household, willing to risk it all on God’s wonderful, yet almost unbelievable, promises. So he went. But the inherent problem Abram had throughout the next few decades was this: “How was he to live in the real here and now world, in light of such seemingly open-ended and future-forward promises?”

No different for us right. I’ve been following Jesus for over a decade now, but I still can remember what it was like to first ‘go’ and enter the promise.  At the time, I had no idea what it all meant. I couldn’t communicate it, much less align my life to it. I just went. Clarity seems to happen gradually as we mature into our faith. We grow farther up and further in as God reveals Himself to us in increasingly specific ways.  And it's a lifelong process.

And similarly, here in Genesis, God continues to reveal in increasingly specific ways those promises made to Abram. In Chapter 15 we catch up with an impatient and frustrated Abram. God first said to him back in Genesis 12 that He would make him into a great nation. Yet here he is, pushing the century mark, no child, no natural heir, and a barren wife. The great nation has not started off well. Abram not so subtly points this out to God of course:

"O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus? "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir."


What’s at play here is that if God didn’t provide a natural heir for Abram, his only heir would be through legal custom; through a servant of Abram’s household. Not ideal in his mind. Abram had in mind a son of his own. God knew that, reassures him, and says "This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." And maybe sensing that this may not be enough for Abram, the Creator allows creation to speak to creation. The Lord then leads him outside, I don’t know maybe they kicked off their sandals, threw a blanket down, laid their heads on a couple of smooth rocks, and just looked up at the stars. And the Lord said this: "Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them." "So shall your offspring be."  Abram's #WOWGOD, that moment that he would keep going back to time and time again when he needed encouragement or explanation or direction or inspiration or hope to press through.

And as Abram looked at those thousand points of light, I wonder if he put name to star. Oh, that one is going to be my great grandson Benjamin, oh that one for sure is my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson’s mother Ruth. Oh…that big and bright one, to the North, yeah that one, well that one is going to be my first-born son. Yeah that’s my son alright… And at that point the magnitude of the promise probably hit him hard. I can just see it too. Half weeping, half giggling like a child, he says to himself “More stars than I can even count.  Just one would do.” I’m a wrinkly, tired old man, my wife is old, still sexy as hell, but come on… “More stars than I can even count!” Thank you Lord.

And the thing is, as Abram stared up at those stars he had no idea. Not really. He only saw the thousands of stars in the sky. He was most interested in that one star; his first-born. What he didn’t know about was the millions of billions of stars beyond them. Abram didn’t have the complete revelation of the Bible to get a fuller appreciation of the new promise made through Jesus. He was grounded in his world, the “real here and now world.”; the old covenant. He looked up at the sky and saw his heirs, he saw his future family; a full sky full of them. He saw blessings, he saw land, he saw a great nation. He saw them, he just didn’t receive them. Hebrews 11 says that Abraham died not receiving the things promised. That he only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. He saw the beginnings of God’s salvation plan for his people through his heir Isaac. But, as with much of the Kingdom, the promise was much bigger than what he could possibly see or could even perceive. That, my friends, is the new promise, the new covenant, that has been given to you through Jesus. And unlike Abram, you will not welcome it from a distance, you will receive the promise in all its fulness.

What of today then in this woundup and winding down world? The same problem that Abram was faced with is the same one that continues to burden us now. Even more so perhaps. “How are we to live in the ‘real here and now world’, in light of seemingly open-ended and future-forward promises?"  By faith.  But what does that mean? Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see and then aligning our present thoughts and actions based on that belief. That’s what Abram and then Abraham did. Hebrews 11:17 says that “By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned."

Gutted. Just when Abraham began to see the Lord’s promise being fulfilled, he’s asked to give it all back. In Genesis 22, God said to Abraham "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Isaac, his natural heir, his first-born son, the promised one that he had been waiting decades for. And the Lord asks an almost impossible task of a father. Now Abraham is getting it. Things are a little clearer. He sees it for more than what it is, more than the taking of his son’s life, more than the end of his family’s line. He doesn’t completely understand, he doesn’t agree, but he trusts that God is faithful and that He is faithful to His promise.  Maybe drawing from his stargazing moment with God, Abram grew the courage to be faithful.


See that’s the kind of man I want to be. That’s the kind of family I want to raise. That’s the kind of church community I want to be in relationship with. Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. And that taking irrevocable action based on that surety.  One that is prepared to lay all we have today on the altar, “Your Kingdom come Lord. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”, because we ‘believe’ in the promise. Not because of the wonderful beauty of the night sky, but because its a reminder of God's promise fulfilled and being fulfilled.  I remember that they same sky that Abram sat under first counting his descendents...my star was there.  Yours too.  It was then, it is now.  Crazy!  #WOWGOD.

But as beautiful as the night sky can be, the true wonder of it for me is that when I look up I see the cracks and bullet holes in a beat-up and defeated darkness. It's a powerful reminder that darkness doesn’t even own the night. Light is breaking through and it’s always been that way. Just as He promised.  And just beyond the stars, I think I can just make out a cloud rolling in. And I wait for the sound of trumpets. And I wait. And as I look up at the stars, I’m reminded that dawn is just a night away. Every night, just a night away. 

Saturday 4 August 2012

In Memoriam of (Virginia) Jean See


My Grandma, (Virginia) Jean See passed on Friday, June 29, 2012.  I was honoured to deliver the eulogy at her funeral shortly after on Thursday, July 12, 2012. Something of the moment is inevitably lost in the text, but keeping the words said helps keep the 'memory' of it close for those of us who were there.

It is truly an honour and a privilege to be able to share memories of grandma with her family and dearest of friends.  Of course, each of us gathered here today has many wonderful memories of Grandma that are worthy to be shared.  Many knew her more, or longer or differently.  Our stories will be different of course, but all equally important to keeping her memory alive and honouring the women, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, daughter, sister and friend.  I'd encourage us all to share those wonderful memories and stories so that together we can work through the sadness of this time. 

But even more to celebrate. 

Yes celebrate!  Celebrate her life, celebrate the days we shared together, celebrate the impact she has had on each one of us.  And most importantly, celebrate her warm reception into the loving hands of the King, the Father, the Great Comforter.  Grandma is with Jesus.  She is at peace with the Prince of Peace.  She feels no pain or sadness anymore...only happiness and joy.  She is home...forevermore.  

On the day she passed, I can tell you the heavens had a great feast to welcome His prodigal daughter home. Turkey (vacuumed clean of course), chicken and biscuits and slow cooker meat balls with a side of salted peanuts for dinner.  Lemon meringue pie and shortbread cookies for dessert.  I bet Grandma even tried to get back into the kitchen to help!  Even in heaven she cannot help herself.  And her laugh...her laugh filled the halls the entire night.  I heard rumours she danced the night away with a certain dark haired gentleman named Ronald while Guy Lombardo led His band of angels.

Friends, she is in a better place.  In this I am sure... and in this, we ourselves can find comfort.  And yet, we are still left a little lost.  We lost a little of ourselves from her passing.  And we'll miss her.  That is the bitter sweetness of this time losing someone we loved so much but knowing how much we gained being loved by her.  And sometimes it's this feeling that causes us to be better ourselves.  Spurred by good, we want to do better ourselves. 

I'm second of nine grandkids to (Virginia) Jean and Ronald See, second son to Larry and Cheryl (Grandma's first born), father to three of her 10 great grandchildren (Matthew...her first, Sophie, and William).  But no matter the number...to Grandma, always first...all 9 of us grandchildren and all 10 of her great grandchildren, all ways and always...first.  She had a way of making us feel that way.  I remember playing as a child with grandma's tiny china figurines from her curio cabinet.  She showed tremendous trust to a 6-year playing with such delicate treasures.   

For my children, Matthew, Sophie and William, no different.  She seemed just to know their shirt sizes, what colour they liked, what they were into.  Even though she was separated by time and space, she took the time to know these things.  And despite the fact that she herself had such modest means, always a Christmas or birthday present that was generous and just cool.  She was a fun and cool 85 year-old grandma!  May sound like such simple things, but I always saw them as a relentless genuine caring for her family.  And even though she got older and the family grew and moved farther away, it was always her first priority...her centre...her reason for being. That has and continues to inspire me to be a better husband and father and son.

I've been up at a cottage with my family for the past few days thinking about what I wanted to share with you today.  She was someone that you just wanted to be with whether you were 6 or 36.  So many stories of time well spent.  And as I thought through my childhood experiences, what I discovered was that any one of my memories of grandma are completely inseparable from my memories of my Papa (Ronald See - who we lost nearly 15 years ago).  From day picnics at Dupont beach, to sleepovers or Christmas Eve at Grandma and Papa's, Grandma and Papa always seemed to be together, they seemed to perfectly complement each other. They were one.

They were great, they really were.  To everyone that Papa met, he was beloved.  He was a great man.  And as I grew up, married and had children of my own...getting an appreciation for how truly difficult it is...I began to more fully understand Grandma's greatness.  She was humble, decreasing so that those she loved increased...allowing them to reach for their own greatness.  

She worked hard...you could see that.  She was strong.  She was 5 feet but such a strong and courageous lady.  Few of us know the kind of loss Grandma knew, losing Papa so suddenly.  I cannot fathom that kind of loss...it must have felt like losing herself because part of her was him and him her.  One flesh.  And yet she carried on, never fully complete I'm sure, honouring him in the act.  It is the kind of marriage that I always aspired to.  It has driven me to never compromise in the integrity of the institution.  She taught me that marriage gives you the opportunity to be better than you ever could have been alone.

And then she got sick and faced her own death.  And yet she courageously carried on, sometimes very sad, sometimes very defeated...but she carried on until the end.  That my friends is courage.  I pray that my loved ones never have to face the pain and sadness that she did in her last days.  My last memory of Grandma was in her living room in Cobourg.  Clearly struggling, tired, white skin, grey hair and frail, so frail...and yet she made sure to get up and search her cupboards to find some candies for my kids.  And it was a moment for me...they were the same kind of candies that she used to have ready in bowls when Geoff, Jeannette and I would visit...now offered to my own children some 30 years later.  Simple things I know, but I think true greatness is found in simple acts of love, done out of love, over and over again.

She was smart and crafty.  A card shark to be sure.  Many hours were spent between my sister and her playing gin rummy.  She owned the bridge tables at her Cobourg residency.  Her body failed her overtime, but never her mind.  She was wise.  After I got engaged to Lesley, she gave me some very powerful words.  At a passing glance, simple, just the kind of thing people say.  But I considered them wise in that moment. And they continue to be.  At hearing the news that Lesley and I were engaged, she said to me privately "This will be the best decision of your life."  Understand that this came only a few short years after Papa's passing and I felt that context very clearly then.  It could have been the kind of thing people say, but it was more than that.  It was the words unsaid, the words spoken through her eyes and tone of voice. 

This is what she said, "Mark, this is and always will be the best decision of your life.  Nothing is more important.  It is what we are meant for.  This is your opportunity to find meaning and realize your potential.  It is how you will impact the world.  You will be a great husband and a great father....you will love and serve your wife and your wife will make you a better man.  She will love you and care for you and your children.  Together under God, you will raise great children and then your children's children.  Like for Papa and I, it will be hard and you must work hard but you will reap the never-ending joy of marriage and family.  And when you're old and the days grow short, you will be able to look back and be truly satisfied.  Papa and I are proud."

It's natural in this time to reflect on the impact Grandma had.  It's a big part of what we're doing here today.  What did her life mean?  What did she leave behind?  What was it all for?  But how do you measure that?  When my mom and sister were helping go through Grandma's place they came across this quote which was obviously important to her and poignantly speaks to her own impact on the world as I see it.

"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."    

That's what Grandma thought important and that is the impact she truly had.  She lived in a one bedroom apartment, she didn't own a car, she had just enough to live month to month...but she can be considered rich.  She was important in the life of a child...this child...many children in fact.  From her seven siblings, to her four children, to her nine grandchildren to her ten (and growing) grandchildren...she was of great importance to each of us.  We will remember.  She will continue to impact us all and our children and then their children.  A life well lived I'd say.  And she wants the same for everyone one of us...to live well, to love well. 

Grandma was a fun lady, laughly loudly and often...and every now and then she'd just break into song.  I was flipping through my iPod as I was preparing for this and came across a song from Guy Lombardo.  I imagined Grandma singing it while carrying in dishes to the kitchen.  Don't really know how it got there, but I just thought it fit 'this' so well...something Grandma might have said or rather sang in such a moment and I'll let it be the final word: